Marriage Enrichment Archives - Better Marriages

A rendezvous in Kiama turned into “Connect in Kiama”

It was our tenth wedding anniversary , we both planned a getaway weekend in stunning seaside Kiama.

We wanted to add more meaning to the occasion and the sky answered quickly, we teamed up the weekend with a Saturday seminar and workshops by Better Marriages Australia which was to be held in Kiama this month.

Was it an act of courage, curiosity? It didn’t matter! We registered anyway and it is too late to change our mind.

We were anxious on the morning heading to the venue.

As we arrived we were greeted with a very warm reception, a cappuccino and a folder with amazing resources .

We both felt it was a good start.

Stage decorations and flowers for Better Marriages Australia Connect in Kiama Conference

The Auditorium was softly decorated, with the most pretty display of colours everywhere,

which set the scene for what was coming next.

The first talk (presented by Marriage and Relationship Educator Robyn Donnelly- editors) was about most interesting evidence based research and work by leading USA relationship leaders and experts.

How to build a sound relationship house and the building blocks of our marriage and relationship . How to build love maps . We learned about turning towards our partner not away or against and how to build bank of trust and keep the relationship in a positive perspective.

Heather McAlpine speaking during Connect in Kiama Conference Keynote

The second talk was by Heather and John McAlpine the co – chairs of Better Marriages Australia and it was about how to be differentiated in the relationship ,being able to keep your own skin-and still be one, learning to master our separateness and togetherness with spontaneity and ease.

They talked about moving away from our comfort zone to uncomfortable places in our pursuit to strengthen our marriage.

It was very entertaining.

The afternoon sessions were practical workshops , all real life dialogues by the presenters .

Ours was Connecting in Conflict .

The presenters emphasised the importance of a rich emotional bank account and being aware of each other’s bids for emotional connection..

We learned that conflict is an invitation to know more about my partner, also to know more about their emotional allergies and triggers.

We both loved a demonstration of the Imago dialogue and real life argument being revisited with transparency and how they navigated it to safety.

Guests at the Connect in Kiama Conference dinner being serenaded

Violinist serenading couples at Better Marriages Australia Connect in Kiama Conference Dinner

Photo of young couple seated, with male partner with a rose in his mouth celebrating Connect in Kiama Conference dinner

Couple Celebrating at the Connect in Kiama Conference Dinner

The magic finale was a candlelight Dinner with sumptuous meal , a glass of red , being serenaded with live “Elvis” music and brilliant vocalist courtesy of Better Marriages Australia.

For us, it was a day and a night from Heaven.

The Better Marriages Australia (NSW) Committee welcomed 40 Couples to the Connect in Kiama 2022 Conference, ranging from newly married couples through to those further along their marriage journey.

They were extremely positive in their feedback about the value of the event for them, and excited about applying some of what they learnt on the day, along with resources provided in their conference bags, to their own relationships. You can check out video testimonials from some of the couples here and watch Keynote 1 and Keynote 2 presentations.

We were excited to announce on the day that our 2023 Conference will take place on 9 September 2023. More details re location and program will follow soon so SAVE THE DATE NOW!!!

: Stage decorations and flowers for Better Marriages Australia Connect in Kiama Conference

: Stage decorations for Connect in Kiama Conference 2022

: Audience viewing a presentation by Heather and John McAlpine at Better Marriages Australia Connect in Kiama Conference

: Heather and John McAlpine presenting a Connect in Kiama Conference keynote

: John McAlpine speaking during Heather and John’s keynote during Better Marriages Australia Connect In Kiama Conference

: Heather McAlpine speaking during Connect in Kiama Conference Keynote

: Better Marriages Australia (NSW) Committee members

: Better Marriages Australia Chair Couple, Heather and John McAlpine

Better Marriages Seminar in Tumut, NSW

John and Heather McAlpine returned to their previous hometown of Tumut in March 2021 to run a marriage seminar. The area has really suffered not just with COVID restrictions but still rebuilding after the devastating bushfires early last year that led to Batlow being evacuated. After having the seminar cancelled in 2020, it was a joy to be able to meet with 22 couples from Tumut, Tumbarumba, and Batlow to encourage marriages from all generations.

When John and Heather lived in Tumut for 13 years, they would run marriage weekend retreats locally each year. It was such a blessing for them to meet up with participants who can still recall benefits from these retreats even 20 years later. One couple who were just engaged and attended their first marriage weekend delighted in still recalling some of the tips and advice from that time early in their relationship. They shared how it was “such an incredible strength and resource for them in the ensuing decades.” Illustrating the circle of life, there was a couple at the seminar whose parents had attended a Tumut Marriage retreat 25 years previously.

The McAlpine’s focused on communication skills and conflict resolution and gave couples the opportunity to explore what was underneath their anger. They also examined ways of becoming closer companions. Debbie Gadd, a pastor from Tumbarumba, described the event as “refreshing and real”, grateful for the personal examples that the McAlpines shared. “They were practical and resonated with my life.”

Heather in an interview to the local paper said- “We were mindful of the unique life stresses the local people have been exposed to over the past year, first battling drought, then bushfires and then COVID on the heels of that trauma. I think this has caused couples to reassess what’s important in their lives. You realise that having a strong and vibrant growing marriage is more important than physical day-to-day aspects of life. And that even the structure of one’s house that we assume will provide refuge, is actually very temporary and superficial……. It was beautiful to see couples of all ages and from all walks of life, valuing their relationships and investing their time and energy into growing better marriages… What a powerful way to create generational change and leave a living legacy for their loved ones.”